Into My World
Dear self, keep strong!
posted by Nina Aqilah November 19, 2017 0 comments




Assalamualaikum to my readers. It's been awhile. Huhu. Agak lama jugak aku tak update blog. Sekarang aku dalam short sem so macam busy and tak sempat nak update blog. Lepas tu dengan mental breakdown lagi. Haih. Macam-macam jadi kat aku sem lepas. Contoh, assignment aku kena buat balik sebab my lecturer assume that it missing but actually not. Penat wehh penat! Huh...

Not just that, aku kurang bercakap dengan kengkawan kolej sampai ada la yang menyibuk tanya aku ni dah kenapa. They said I look different. Macam berubah. Aku monolog dalam hati, "hangpa tak payah kot nak menyibuk hal orang. Do I even care about your life? NO. So, tak perlu kot nak sibuk tanya hal aku or aku nampak berubah ke apa ke. Benda tu aku tak marah kalau dorang sendiri tanya kat aku but the problem is they ask other people instead. Other people who don't even know about the problem that I'm currently having. So, gila tak marah aku time tu? But, surely aku tak tunjuk marah aku kat dorang. I keep it inside. Only my bestie know about that. At some point, I want my bestie to be here beside me. Macam best kan kalau kau belajar satu kolej dengan bestie kau. Huhu~

Bila fikir balik, this people yang menyibuk pasal aku ni mesti pernah bergosip belakang aku. Obviously la kan. Sorang tu mesti akan umpan member kau sorang lagi untuk bercerita pasal kau. I got that feelings and I were so pissed off. Aku nak percaya siapa kat sini? I thought to myself, there's no one that I should be trusted here. Semua ada topeng masing-masing. Depan baik, belakang kita, who knows. My mom always said, "kalau nak buat baik tu, berpada-pada la. At some point, orang yang kita buat baik sangat tu laa yang mungkin akan pijak kepala kita." Yep. Always remind myself about that and I tryna' to avoid being so good towards people. Well, I'm actually a good person but don't make me show the evil inside me. I just hate that.

One more thing, I frikin' hate fakers. If tak suka aku, kau boleh terus terang je kot. Tak payah nak acah-acah suka berkawan dengan aku. Eyyy seriously benci gila kot. Fuhh. The more I look at their face, the more I can see that bitch fake attitude.I'm so done with the people right here. I know some people here don't like me. I got that instinct. Kadang-kadang aku punya instinct ni betul. Hmm. Penat doe penat.

Tahun depan tahun last aku jadi student diploma. Haa. Memang tak sabar beb. Penat dah nak deal dengan manusia-manusia kat sini, assignment, stress, and macam-macam lagi. Aku nak rest puas-puas lepas habis intern. Seriously. Kalau ada rezeki lebih, aku nak travel. Nak tenangkan diri, nak buat benda yang aku suka. Tak sabar nak habis dip.

Last but not least, hope that I can go through this semester smoothly and may Allah ease everything. Till here. Will update another entry. Sayonara! <3

p/s: Currently missing someone who is in Japan. My mom. :')
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